So much to do and so little time! I’ve been wondering the past few days about why I always feel like this. I don’t work full time and yet I manage to fill every minute of my day with deadlines and tasks. The good part of this is that life is constantly exciting; the fallout is that I get the feeling of being a Jack of all trades and Master of none. And that isn’t a super nice feeling, I can tell you.
As of now, I work 2-3 days a week, learn dance for 2 hours every week, which sort of takes up one half of the day, learn music on Saturday and Sunday mornings for an hour each, write a blog that takes an hour every day, besides households chores, kiddie rendezvous etc.
I’m reading ‘The Music Room’ by Namita Devidayal in which she describes her bonding with her aging music teacher and the conflicts between her modern life and learning music in the format of the traditional guru-shishya parampara. I have felt terribly guilty, while reading the book, for not giving my music more time and attention. And while I tell myself that I sing and dance to indulge my interests and not with the intention of performing or competing with anyone, I still regret that I do not find time to hone my skill and reach that sublime place of knowledge and achievement that I have experienced fleetingly when I learnt music as a child and young adult.
And then, besides the need to reach certain skill levels in the arts, there are so many other areas where focused attention and time make all the difference: work that might require extra reading, reading that may open your mind, physical exercise for fitness and to feel good, social life, family time and so much more!
The answer, it seems, lies in being able to prioritize; but here’s the deal: To prioritize would mean to make choices, to decide what stays and what goes. In this scenario, I cannot give up on any element since they all play a significant role in contributing to the quality of my life. In fact, I can think of about ten more things (like painting, travel, photography and more dedicated writing time) that I would want to add to this list!
Other solutions? 48-hour days? Lower expectations from myself? Rotate activities every quarter so you get to try everything? Give up work altogether for a year to soak up all the wonderful experiences and then decide if I ever want to work again? None of them sound convincing or possible…..so I continue to hang in the balance, taking each day at a time and squeezing as much out of each day as I possibly can.